Alternative Lifestyle Designing (The Rabbit Hole Tax and Baselining)
Photo by Kirbmart1000
A few months ago, I met a guy named Leonard Knight who’s spent the last 20 years building a folk art masterpiece called "Salvation Mountain." Leonard lives in the back of his pickup truck and usually sleeps under the stars. Visitors bring him food, paint, and minor donations, and Leonard continues to work on his adobe mountain and ~200 other folk art projects meant to convey the message that "God Loves Everyone." Leonard’s mountain has been likened to an epic work of folk art “comparable to the Watts Towers,” is entered it into the Congressional Record as a national treasure, and was also featured in the movie Into the Wild.
While I don’t seek to emulate Leonard’s lifestyle, I very much respect him for having the guts to peruse his dreams. Leonard’s life is highly unconventional and wouldn’t work for most of us, but it got me thinking about . . .
The Diversity of Lifestyle Design
When I think about lifestyle design, I usually think about automated income, mini-retirements, making money online, traveling the world, and the 4-Hour Work Week. The truth, however, is that there are an unlimited number of tools in the lifestyle design arsenal. Lifestyle design is as old as life itself.
The philosophy of lifestyle design is actually quite simple. It suggests that there are limitless ways to arrange and configure your life and that the logistics of living are much more flexible than most of us can imagine.
There is one [movie line] that stands out for me. It comes from Oliver Stone’s Wall Street, when the Charlie Sheen character — a promising big shot in the stock market — is telling his girlfriend about his dreams. "I think if I can make a bundle of cash before I’m thirty and get out of this racket," he says, "I’ll be able to ride my motorcycle across China." When I first saw this scene … I nearly fell out of my seat in astonishment. Charlie Sheen or anyone else could work for eight months as a toilet cleaner and have enough money to ride a motorcycle across China. The thing is, most Americans probably wouldn’t find this movie scene odd.
-Rolf Potts
Rolf Potts has perfected the art of long term world travel, Dan Clements can run a business from anywhere while roving the globe with his wife and children, Lea Woodward has freelanced from every continent, Doug Mayle and his wife are traveling across the world in a sailboat, Mark Hayword runs a bed and breakfast on the Island of Culebra, and Tim Ferriss works the famed 4-Hour-Work Week. I admire the real-life adventures of these excellent writers. I also think it’s important to acknowledge that these stories only convey part of the picture.
Lifestyle design also happens when a parent decides they want to stay home with their children, when someone quits college to leave civilization for a year and build a cabin in the woods, and when a middle-aged couple moves out of a large condo in New York to a small town in rural Iowa so that they can “retire” 20 years early. It happens every time an entrepreneur starts a business.
Lifestyle design is quitting your job to start an organic farm, selling your home for an RV in the Blue Ridge Mountains, or homeschooling (un-schooling) your children. It’s starting a consulting company so you can work 20 hours per week and make 35k per year instead of 50 hours a week for 80k (and using the free time to sleep in and exercise).
It also happens every time someone implements their answer to . . .
The Quintessential Lifestyle Design Question
The quintessential lifestyle design question is the “money question.” And the money question goes something like this: “what would you do if you had all the money in the world?”
I like the money question. I really do. It’s a good starting point, but it also misses the point because it feeds the notion that monetary abundance is the primary freedom enabler.
The more we associate experience with cash value, the more we think that money is what we need to live. And the more we associate money with life, the more we convince ourselves that we’re too poor to buy our freedom. With this kind of mind-set, it’s no wonder so many Americans think extended overseas travel is the exclusive realm of students, counterculture dropouts, and the idle rich.
-Rolf Potts
I think there is a better lifestyle design question. A question that goes something like this . . .
“What Would You Do if NOT Having Money Weren’t an Issue?”
That is, what would you do if you didn’t need to eat out every day? What would you do if you didn’t have to own gadgets, subscribe to cable television, or pay $20 for drinks every time you went out with your friends? What would you do if didn’t have to own a nice car or large house?
And on a related note…
What Would you Do If NOT Having Status Weren’t an Issue?
While we’re at it, what would you do if NOT having status weren’t an issue? What would you do if you didn’t feel the need to tell your parents, family, friends, and spouse a reasonable story about what you’re doing with your life? What would you do if you didn’t feel the need to have a “good” job? What would you do if you were OK being a middle-aged married person living in a small apartment?
I’ve thought about these questions a lot recently, and the conclusion I’ve come to is this: needing very little money and status is more liberating than having lots of money and status.
Photo by TravelTrailerSNZ.
Dreamlining Vs. Baselining
Author Timothy Ferriss advocates dreamlining, which is actually quite a helpful process. The dreamlining process involves writing down what you would have (e.g. a motorcycle), be (e.g. a professional tennis player), or do (e.g. take a trip around the world) if you couldn’t fail, and then determining the costs of these dreams (for a better description and a great tool for implementing, see here). The dream lining process is designed to help you establish a plan for accomplishing your dreams. Regarding dreamlining, Tim writes …
Be sure not to judge or fool yourself. If you really want a Ferari, don’t put down solving world hunger out of guilt. For some, the dream will be fame, for others fortune or prestige. All people have their vices and insecurities. If something will improve your feeling of self-worth, put it down. I have a racing motorcycle, and quite apart from the fact that I love speed, it just makes me feel like a cool dude. There’s nothing wrong with that.
-Tim Ferriss
Dreamlining is fine, but I’d like to propose something that works better for me. It’s called baselining.
How Baselining Works
The process of baselining involves writing down everything you don’t have to have, be, or do, to live a happy and fulfilled life (for more on this, see here). For example, I don’t have to own nice furniture (thrift store furniture works just fine) or a house, I don’t have to finish graduate school, I don’t have to be able to tell a coherent story about how I make money. If you’re serious about doing a thorough job of baselining, you’ll download this spreadsheet and write down how much money and time you’ll eliminate by doing away with existing possessions, obligations, and self-images. (In the next week or so I’ll write a more lengthy and detailed post about the ins and outs of base lining).
What I’ve found is that my dreams naturally emerge after I’ve eliminated bullsh*t assumptions about what I have to be, do, and have in order to be happy (if this doesn’t happen for you, then simply do some dreamlining after you’ve done some baselining).
It is Possible to Have Your Cake and Eat It Too
It is possible to have your cake and eat it too. It’s possible to travel the world and live off automated income while maintaining the lifestyle habits of upper middle class America. It’s possible, but the probability of actually starting the business you’ve always wanted to start, making the time to write the book of your dreams, or (to use an earlier example) ride a motorcycle across China will dramatically increase if you’re willing to embrace Abundance 2.0 and pay . . .
The Rabbit Hole Tax
“Alice falls down the rabbit hole and her dress poofs up like a parachute] Alice: Well, after this I should think nothing of falling down stairs.”
-Lewis Carroll
The rabbit hole tax is the price you pay for slipping down the rabbit hole of life. It’s the price you pay for joining a self-selected group of people who’ve sluffed off meaningless obligations, extricated themselves from the web of “shoulds” that this world can entwine us with, and decided not let self-limiting beliefs keep them on the treadmill of life. (Some of them do a lot of work for very little pay; some of them do little work for little pay; some of them live lives more lavish with time; but they’ve all living passionately and doing what they want to do with life).
The rabbit hole tax is . . .
- The flak you’ll get from parents when you tell them you’ve quit your job to travel the world;
- The look your spouse might give you after you’ve brought up the idea of starting a new business
- The beautiful but uncomfortable weightiness you experience after you’ve said no to the “perfect” opportunity even though you don’t know what to do next
Also…
- The rabbit hole tax might involve being labeled a quitter, a lazy bum or a dilettante (not to mention a rebel leader).
- The tax might mean you can’t gave cable television, an extensive DVD collection.
- The rabbit hole tax might involve having to deal with imperfect grades, or having the humility to ask others for favors.
The rabbit hole tax is the price of radical growth.
But the tax is a small price to pay for a life lived on your own terms. It’s a small price to pay for designing a healthy life filled with creativity, spontaneity, and meaning. It’s a small price to pay for a life that allows you to consistently exercise your unique talents and abilities in a way that matters to you.
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Stu | Improved Lives said,
Wrote on May 15, 2008 @ 11:17 pm
I love the baselining idea Clay. I’m the complete opposite of a pack-rat, I love to throw stuff out and get rid of things, and I can’t believe I never thought to apply that to my wants and needs. It makes so much sense now that I think about it. Thanks :)
melissa pierce said,
Wrote on May 15, 2008 @ 11:59 pm
oh Clay, how I’m already mourning the carnage your words will make of many of the minds of your readers. Why? You might ask. For the simple fact that even as they shake their heads in agreement, even if their hearts beat a little faster, and thoughts race a little more clearly- baselining, getting back all the control over your life - cutting out all the shit and getting to the REAL- this feels exactly like losing control. And while I have no doubts that we can all handle this task- and some of us have been baselining for some time already ;) -things are about to get jacked. Unhinging the doors to make way for the mass exodus of obligations from life - VIVA LA REVOLUTION
J.D. Meier said,
Wrote on May 16, 2008 @ 1:28 am
> the logistics of living are much more flexible than most of us can imagine
That’s the key.
Clay Collins said,
Wrote on May 16, 2008 @ 2:14 am
@Stu: I’m glad you like the baselining idea. It’s not that we have to make huge and insurmountable sacrifices to have what we want. It’s just important to know the difference between a real sacrifice (like working 60 hour/week doing a job you hate) and a fake one (going without cable TV, or not eating out).
@Melissa: Awesome. But carnage? Oh no! I do like the idea of things getting jacked. You leave the most encouraging comments, Melissa. Thank you.
@J.D.: Yeah. That phrase was when the aha point for me. After I wrote that the rest came naturally. I really do feel that’s the key.
Dave Navarro said,
Wrote on May 16, 2008 @ 3:46 am
Damn.
This was a f*cking good post. Printing out, will mull over during the weekend.
“And the more we associate money with life, the more we convince ourselves that we’re too poor to buy our freedom.”
This is what I’m taking away from what I’m reading lately … to strip away the idea that we have to wait until later to start enjoying things now.
Dugg/Stumbled/Etc.
Lodewijk van den Broek said,
Wrote on May 16, 2008 @ 4:09 am
The ability to deal with the rabbit hole tax (great find btw!) is directly related to the ability to let go of status in my opinion.
I like the baselining idea. I’ve been doing that for a while now, and it’s liberating. It’s totally aligned with one of my personal core values: freedom. Freedom doesn’t come from having lots of money and fulfilling your needs, it comes from letting go of needs that are unimportant, it comes from simplifying your life to the bare essentials.
And when you’re there, dreamlining is a great strategy again. Because there are always things that we want to be, have or do. At that point you’re making the lifestyle decisions. Big rocks, not pebbles.
Dan Clements said,
Wrote on May 16, 2008 @ 5:02 am
Great post, Clay!
“But the tax is a small price to pay for a life lived on your own terms.”
So true. And in many ways, once you start paying the rabbit hole tax, it simply stops being one, I think. It’s relative size compared to what you gain becomes smaller and smaller until it’s just not there anymore.
Charlie Gilkey | Productive Flourishing said,
Wrote on May 16, 2008 @ 6:13 am
Okay, this is my new favorite post of yours. Reasonably radical, but with a positive punch - it’s right on point.
I’m writing a song (no, really) about getting off the American Dream bus, and no doubt some of the imagery and phrases from this post will work their way into the song. Thanks for the inspiration and helping me fill in some of the verses.
Dorian aka coffeeister |_|) said,
Wrote on May 16, 2008 @ 6:28 am
It’s so refreshing to see a practical, liberating alternative to dreamlining presented. Baselining is the perfect term for it & it not only provides a more tailored freedom but a freedom that can be attained sooner than later. While dreams are necessary, for sanity’s sake at least ~_^, it’s in this process of paring down to what really makes you tick that your true dreams can be found.
My husband & I have set everything aside time & again in the process of creating a simpler, sustainable lifestyle that feeds our souls rather than bottom lines, outside expectations or vicious cycles. Thank you for letting people know that the cost is well worth the reward. We’re still doing w/out a good number of things externally but are finding fulfillment as we seek out only what actually supports that inner growth.
(|_|*cheers*|_|)
“Begin where you are; work where you are; the hour, which you are now wasting, dreaming of some far off success, may be crowded with grand possibilities.” ~ Orison Swett Marden
Jared Goralnick said,
Wrote on May 16, 2008 @ 7:52 am
Such inspiration once again, Clay! Thank you for reminding us that our needs are often mere “shoulds” and that there’s a lot of room for developing the perspective that we, more likely, truly need.
While there may be a rabbit hole tax, I’d say it’s a much more laissez faire rabbit hole than the comparable taxes of living in the world of shoulds. I agree with Dan that at a certain point it just goes away.
Thanks for pointing folks to the dreamline I put up, too!
Corey - Simple Marriage Project said,
Wrote on May 16, 2008 @ 8:13 am
So much to ponder and apply in this post man. Well done!
An interesting proposition to add to this idea is applying it as a couple. My wife and I have been on this trip lately, you may have helped us see another level to try. Thanks.
adrianna said,
Wrote on May 16, 2008 @ 8:26 am
Clay -
phenomenal clarity… GORGEOUS..!!!
i’ve found that life is so so so much more pleasurable when lived well beneath our means. it is true freedom - to know we can have a new car but don’t want it - can have a plasma TV - but don’t want it.
since my day to day life is in corp. world. i’m increasingly amazed at the people who live completely indentured to their “things” and to popular culture’s dictates - through those “things” end up enslaved to jobs they often despise.
i am convinced that it is not the actual career they despise - but rather the enslavement. after all - what spirit wants to live enslaved? when the master is ubiquitous and often completely subconscious the enslavement must be in many ways worse than medieval serfdom. Thus the free floating anxiety/depression and “stress” that characterize common everyday life in the developed world.
believing we are too poor to buy our freedom - that belief is the ultimate definition of enslavement
The Financial Philosopher said,
Wrote on May 16, 2008 @ 9:01 am
Clay, you are indeed a philosopher…
“People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar.” ~ Thich Nhat Hanh
“If thou wilt make a man happy, add not unto his riches but take away from his desires.” ~ Epicurus
“Tension is who you think you should be. Relaxation is who you are.” ~ Chinese proverb
“The wise man knows that it is better to sit on the banks of a remote mountain stream than to be emperor of the whole world.” ~ Zhuang Tzi
Patrick Rhone said,
Wrote on May 16, 2008 @ 10:31 am
Wow. As someone who recently quit his job for greater flexability and to spend more time with his newborn Daughter, this feels like validation. Thank you.
jrandom42 said,
Wrote on May 16, 2008 @ 11:27 am
The rabbit hole tax is . . .
The flak you’ll get from parents when you tell them you’ve quit your job to travel the world;
The look your spouse might give you after you quit your job to start a business
The beautiful but uncomfortable weightiness you experience after you’ve said no to the “perfect” opportunity even though you don’t know what to do next
I can see a few problems, especially with the second one. First, if you haven’t discussed this with your spouse, it’s an extraordinarily selfish and self centered decision to make. Because you have a spouse and perhaps children, your decision affects them as well.
Planning is important. Nothing this momenteous should be undertaken without some contingency planning. For instance, what happens if devastating injury or illness hits you or a family member? I’ve seen more great decisions derailed when life randomly strikes someone or someone close with an crippling accident, a devastating chronic illness, or a similar circumstance. There’s been a few who have abandoned spouses and children in such circumstances, saying, “Not my problem. I’m living my life on my terms. You live your life on your terms. Too bad thing look so grim. Sorry it’s going to be so short.” How nice. Guess spouses and children weren’t that important.
Bluntly put, if you are married with or without children, making a decision like this with out at least some discussion is incredibly selfish and self centered, if you actually love them as you profess to do.
Clay Collins said,
Wrote on May 16, 2008 @ 12:19 pm
@jrandom42: I agree that you should tell your spouse before you quit a job :-). Good catch. I’m going to qualify that sentence a bit more.
Patrick said,
Wrote on May 16, 2008 @ 12:25 pm
Oh my gosh this is a good post. I’ve recently shifted my mindset over the last few years from “I need to get a high paying job” to more of a frugality and simplicity approach to life. Combine this mindset with the fact that I am now automatically saving and investing a large chunk of my income (that I used to spend on junk), I would say I’ve come a long way towards buying my future freedom instead of creating a “normal” lifestyle with all of the standard gadgets and toys.
For me, paying the rabbit hole tax is the funny looks I get when I try to explain how frugality and sound investing is often greater than taking the high paying job. Thanks so much for the great article, best read I’ve seen in a while.
kadavy said,
Wrote on May 16, 2008 @ 1:04 pm
Humblingly awesome post! That could have easily been 4 separate, equally brilliant, blog posts.
I think that fear of the Rabbit Hole Tax is what keeps us clinging on to goals that may no longer (or never were) relevant to our real desires. A coincidence because I just wrote about this yesterday: http://snipr.com/29154
This also reminds me of this morning, when I decided to go on a half-hour bike ride instead of going to the gym. It was so much more enjoyable than going to the gym, and I got my cardio workout, as well as getting to see way more scenery. But why did I almost go to the gym instead? Maybe because going to the gym wouldn’t have been as much fun, so it would have been better for me, right? :) Sometimes we fool ourselves into thinking we have to suffer in order to accomplish anything.
Andre Kibbe said,
Wrote on May 16, 2008 @ 1:34 pm
Most coveted lifestyles are vicious cycles of overproduction and overconsumption. Dreamlining tends to encourage the same more-is-better approach to lifestyle design, at least on the consumption side. The baselining questions you throw out are a great antidote to chasing after societies most obvious (and boring) benchmarks of success.
Great anti-hacks!
jrandom42 said,
Wrote on May 16, 2008 @ 2:27 pm
Unfortunately, I’ve seen a number of people who have “paid the rabbit hole tax” at the detriment to others.
One guy wanted to travel around the world. So he told his wife he had to get away, and told his son, who was fighting cerebral palsy, “I’m off to live the life I’ve always wanted to live. It doesn’t include you or your mom. You’re on your own. I will be happy. Too bad your life will always suck, but it’s not my problem any more.”
That was over 20 years ago. He’s still traveling, living out of his backpack. His wife died of a stroke 6 years ago. His son is still struggling, and hating his father with every fiber of his being, but his father doesn’t care.
Maybe it’s just me, but I don’t think most people will ever be that selfish and cavalier about the people they supposedly love. If you do have a family, care and consideration need to be taken and serious planning needs to make sure that everyone will benefit from such a decision.
Remember, it’s not all about you and what you want, but what’s best for you AND the ones you love. It doesn’t have to be a me-or-them decision.
————————
Response from Clay
This post by no means dictates a specific course of action for everyone. What this post is meant to convey is that “the logistics of living are much more flexible than most of us can imagine.” Even if you have 15 children, etc. the logistics of living are probably more maliable than most of us can conceive (and exercising flexibility in the logistics of our lives doesn’t have to ruing the lives of those who depend upon us; in fact, it can make their lives better).
As I said earlier, “lifestyle design also happens when a parent decides they want to stay home with their children.”
I’m afraid you misunderstood what I wrote. I by no means am advocating a specific course of action for every individual. And as I’ve said in another article, sometimes the cost of radical growth just isn’t worth it.
kadavy said,
Wrote on May 16, 2008 @ 2:43 pm
Very good point @jrandom42, and a sad story. These changes are relatively simple for a 20-something guy without so much as a houseplant, but they get way more complicated when you have more obligations, or when any important person to you has health problems.
mark @ mytropicalescape said,
Wrote on May 16, 2008 @ 3:51 pm
Clay - *Bravo* on the post…and I am not just saying that because you included me. (Although my last name is Hayward (not Hayword).)
Trying to pursue an alternative life, even if it is not that radical requires a tremendous amount of patience, persistence, and a willingness to block out the negative “white” noise that is sometimes thrown your way…
It ain’t always easy but as I get ready to go watch the sunset here in the Caribbean with my wife, life outside the norm certainly does have its advantages.
You take care.
Mark
adrianna said,
Wrote on May 16, 2008 @ 3:57 pm
it is true that a dream/ goals achieved on the backs of others is downright pathetic.
but on the note of responsibilities getting in the way of following our best path, i actually know a couple with 4 children who are living their dream despite the fact that one of the children is pretty handicapped. they live on their boat, home school their kids and essentially sail around the world as their way of life. The kids (4 - 15) are beyon awesome.
these folks spent a good bit of last summer at a mooring near our home before they sailed off for warmer climates for the winter.
Melissa said,
Wrote on May 16, 2008 @ 4:09 pm
Clay, I recently found your blog (probably through zenhabits), and I have to say, you are awesome! Your thoughts are aligned with beliefs I’ve held for quite awhile, just better articulated. I’ve had the same discussions/disagreements for years with my more-status-driven friends and it’s nice to send them something to read that better argues my opinions.
I just subscribed to you and look forward to reading more often. :)
Thanks,
melissa
@Stephen said,
Wrote on May 16, 2008 @ 8:14 pm
Beautiful post Clay. My hat is off to you. I have been paying that Rabbit Hole Tax for years, as I pursued a variety of careers and living arrangements.
I am happier now, in the howling wilderness of Maine, than I thought I could ever be. I feel much “richer” than I did several years ago when I had plenty of money, but no meaning.
Evelyn Lim | Attraction Mind Map said,
Wrote on May 16, 2008 @ 8:55 pm
Hey Clay, awesome post! I like it for the fact that you also threw in the money aspect and proposing baselining as a solution.
I do agree with what jrandom42 said, however. While it would be nice to take off just like that, it is also important to consider the needs of your family. Even the Buddha said so and fulfilled his obligations first. In short, like what jrandom42 concluded, planning is key.
——————
Clay’s Resposne
Thanks for your comment, Evelyn. I’d like to state that I by no means advocated taking off “just like that.” This post does not prescribe a timeline and it certainly does not advocate ignoring your loved ones. Also, this post does advocate planning. Both baselining and dreamlining are mechanisms for planning, and I would encourage people to use other tools to plan. Immediately implementation of our impulses is often a bad idea. It’s also worth mentioning that sometimes the price of radical growth just isn’t worth it.
Tom Stine | Living from Consciousness said,
Wrote on May 16, 2008 @ 9:20 pm
What’s really cool to me, Clay, is that LIFE often makes these choices for us. No decision to be made, life just comes along and says, BAM, you are going to change your life. Amazing. You get fired, your dream falls through, you hit mid-life and have one of those crazy mid-life crises (they do happen, believe me!), you name it.
When I graduated from [insert name of Ivy League college] I was heading to med school. Life was grand. Big time medicine. And then I crashed and burned. Life intervened. After bumming around strange jobs here in Missouri, my father died. Then got married. Then mother got sick. Then had a kid. Then mom died. Then MID-LIFE hit. Then got divorced. AND THANK GOD ALL THAT SHIT HAPPENED!!!
Now, 21 years later, I live in on my grandmother’s farm in rural Missouri and I love it. I feel at home. I write about spirituality. I see things really taking shape. I’m happier than I’ve ever thought possible. Peace is rising in me more and more. I have an amazing kid. Life is awesome. All because life intervened and said, “nope, different plans, kiddo.”
Not sure where I’m going with this. Oh, well, still love the post, Clay. :-D
Clay Collins said,
Wrote on May 17, 2008 @ 12:44 am
@jrandom42: Thank you so much for your thoughtful comments.
This post by no means dictates a specific course of action for everyone. What this post is meant to convey is that “the logistics of living are much more flexible than most of us can imagine.” Even if you have 15 children, etc. the logistics of living are probably more maliable than most of us can conceive (and exercising flexibility in the logistics of our lives doesn’t have to ruing the lives of those who depend upon us; in fact, it can make their lives better).
As I said earlier, “lifestyle design also happens when a parent decides they want to stay home with their children.”
I’m afraid you misunderstood what I wrote. I by no means am advocating a specific course of action for every individual. And as I’ve said in another article, sometimes the cost of radical growth just isn’t worth it.
In short, if you read this message as advocating the abandonment of family, being an irresponsible child, parent, etc. then you are reading text that doesn’t appear in the article and I suggest you read this post.
Clay Collins said,
Wrote on May 17, 2008 @ 12:47 am
@Evelyn: Thanks for your comment, Evelyn. I always enjoy reading your thoughts.
I’d like to state that I by no means advocated taking off “just like that.” This post does not prescribe a timeline and it certainly does not advocate ignoring your loved ones. Also, this post does advocate planning and it certainly does not dis-encourage planning. Both baselining and dreamlining are mechanisms for planning. Additionally I would encourage people to use other tools to plan. Immediate implementation of our impulses is often a bad idea. It’s also worth mentioning that sometimes the price of radical growth just isn’t worth it.
Thank you for stopping by, Evelyn.
ReddyK - The Atma Jyoti Blog said,
Wrote on May 17, 2008 @ 9:51 am
Clay,
I have had the good fortune to meet Leonard a number of times, and he is really a remarkable person: dedicated, unattached, tolerant (though others are not so tolerant of him), and overall an interesting person to talk to. If you see him again, ask him about the “God loves you” hot air balloon he tried to make that was so big it never got off the ground. I think it is in a museum somewhere.
jrandom42 said,
Wrote on May 18, 2008 @ 12:32 am
While I wasn’t taking this post as a signal for someone to go off to find their life at the expense of others, I was introducing a cautionary tale of one who did and the consequences.
The path of alternative lifestyle design can be incredibly liberating and rewarding, but my point is that PLANNING is the key. Being able to share your vision with your spouse is important. Taking small steps to show the validity of what you are aiming to achieve is crucial. And communication at all times is the key to making it happen.
Someone posted that they knew a family with a handicapped child made a radical change in their life. I bet, that if you talked to them, you will find that they had many discussions about it, agreement on the aim, and intense planning on how to handle the myriad details of making work.
Kelly@SHE-POWER said,
Wrote on May 18, 2008 @ 2:28 am
I’m with Charlie, this is my absolute favorite post yet. As a daughter of ex-nomadic hippies (they both lead very conventional lives now) and a long term backpacker I have spent chunks of my life on the road with no home to call my own. Along this journey I have known many fascinating men and women who have chosen to live outside the usual boundaries of society. Some were professionals who worked half a year and travelled half a year, others were fruit pickers, aid workers, activists, musicians, ESL teachers, writers, chefs and hospitality workers, or self-confessed bums who picked up odd jobs here and there. All were inspiring because they stepped back from life and ignored the conventional dictates that say consumption and status will lead to success and happiness.
I have yet to read Tim Ferriss’ book, though I do read his blog and when I first discovered it I found it fascinating that so many were excited by what he was saying even though these same people are a part of the world’s wealthy minority and actually have the option of designing their own perfect lifestyle. The problem seems to be that many people can’t accept that they don’t want it enough to pay a price to have it.
When I was backpacking people would always ask me how I managed to do it, like I had some special secret or trust fund. I didn’t. In fact, most of my travelling was done after I left the corporate world and was a temp contracter and ESL teacher. These jobs don’t earn buckets of money but I still saved and bummed around for 6 months at a time. Anyone can do it if you want it enough.
It does get harder when you add spouses and kids into the equation and this is something I wrestle with. If I just pleased myself I would be in Mexico now, working on my novel, eating tacos, rice and beans, and volunteering. But my husband is very career driven and has a successful job in Australia and I do want my son to have a base to return to after he has his world adventures with me. It’s hard to be outside society and your peers, to want things they don’t understand or value. It can be a very lonely place to live and personally I’m not sure you ever stop asking yourself if you’re doing the right thing.
For me, I know I’ve got to find that balance between me and my family and work out what price I’m willing to pay so we can all be happy. But then that’s one of the endless questions of life, I think. What am I willing to compromise/sacrifice to be happy?
Great post. Clay. You’re a legend.
Kelly
chris said,
Wrote on May 18, 2008 @ 6:02 pm
Clay,
While I’ve dreamed of a life style such as this one, I found that it becomes more difficult when there are other people involved such as my wife and children.
Often times the conflict is not necessarily about material possession, status, or social obligation. For me at least, it’s more about making concessions with my family on what type of a life we all want.
Like Kelly, my wife and I would rather be somewhere in front of the ocean chilling and writing, but our children, especially the older ones love their life in the big city. We could just leave them and take the little ones but this would mean that out family would be incomplete.
Liara Covert said,
Wrote on May 18, 2008 @ 8:49 pm
Thanks for sharing these fabulous stories. People who inspire others need not have more, or have accomplished great, measurable feats. It is the courage to live differently that prompts us to re-evaluate who we are. Its not the situation that matters so much as how you react to it and waht you are encouraged to learn about your own values and character.
Jonathan Mead said,
Wrote on May 19, 2008 @ 12:13 am
This one was especially relevant for me right now. I think LD design means different things to everyone. It’s really about what brings you bliss. It’s funny how we have the power to do the same things with less money as we do with abundance of it. We just need to overcome our fear.
Robin said,
Wrote on May 19, 2008 @ 4:55 am
Hi Clay - I really like your article.
Regarding lifestyle design, I think it’s interesting how many people are creating occupations for themselves that have not existed before (blogging, for example), and people will keep inventing new careers that don’t exist now.
- Robin
Brad said,
Wrote on May 19, 2008 @ 2:55 pm
Well done. Thanks. I needed to read this. Hope this finds you well!
Daisy said,
Wrote on May 20, 2008 @ 6:18 am
Isn’t it weird that I have found out more about Kelly She Power (who I am just getting to know) on your site than I have on about 4 visits to her own? I just wrote about you on HER post because I wasn’t that impressed with your interview with her to be honest. The apostle like praise you were getting on her site was from folks who already knew you - I didn’t know you and wanted to - and didn’t get much out of it as a newbie.
Then I came to you via Jonathan Mead’s site after ‘cyber-complaining’ about you to him - (are y’all just one big clique?). Anyhoo this was a nice post…I shall most likely investigate further (for what it’s worth).
Melissa N. said,
Wrote on May 20, 2008 @ 9:55 am
I recently found your web-site through Zenhabits. I am loving reading your writings and your style.
Such a great article and it couldn’t have come at a more opportune time in my life. Thank you!
Travis said,
Wrote on May 20, 2008 @ 1:43 pm
Well done, Clay. Well done.
If you ever stop writing this blog, I’ll kill you.
What?
Do I look like I’m joking?
Sara said,
Wrote on May 30, 2008 @ 5:48 am
There’s not much to say here that hasn’t been said. I think it’s important to recognize that lifestyle design isn’t just about your dream lifestyle. It’s something you do every day, whether you recognize it or not. With baselining, at least we can do it with full awareness of what we’re choosing.
freelearner said,
Wrote on July 6, 2008 @ 3:36 pm
I have just found your blog and am very much enjoying reading through your articles. As someone who has chosen unschooling for her family and consulting instead of my long-trained-for career, I suppose I fit the bill of someone who has designed an Alternative Lifestyle. I’ve never thought of it in quite as much detail as you have, and I haven’t waxed as eloquently about it, but it feels very good to look at what we’re doing in this context. I’ll keep reading!