70 Simple Power Tao Secret Hacks to Writing the Perfect Productivity Article, Plus a Guide & System for Doing It
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Clay
First off, you must start with a quotation. Preferably by an Asian spiritual leader (quoting Lao Tzu, Confucius, or the Buddha works, but don’t quote Jesus). The quotation really doesn’t have to relate to the article or the picture at all. It just has to make you feel good. And quotes by people with obscure names are a good thing.
-Sun Zhongmou Liu Yuanzhi Xu Shu
The perfect productivity article should start with a picture of a person jumping. Pictures of beaches, sunsets, or children also do the job, but a picture of someone jumping really is best. It really doesn’t matter whether the picture relates to the topic, so long as it’s a really cool picture of someone jumping. Then you can proceed with the introduction.
The introduction shouldn’t be very long. Its real purpose is to make you look like a writer instead of a glorified list maker. Because if you don’t have an introduction, then you’d just have a list of tips and that wouldn’t look very good. Or literary.
Bear in mind that a lot of people aren’t going to read past the second paragraph of your introduction. They’re just going to skip to the list, which is the most important part of the article. So without further ado, here are 70 simple power tao secret hacks to writing the perfect productivity article, plus a guide & system for doing it:
1. Call Your Article a Guide or System
No matter what the content or article length, make sure that you call your article a guide. Or a system. Your piece might only be 500 words, but that’s OK. Remember, people want to read guides and systems.
2. Make a Numbered List
Making a list is the most essential element of a productivity or self-help article because there are few things as compelling, sexy, motivating, and exciting as a list. So make sure you have one. The reason you want to have a list is because it allows you to number things. Also, it’s easier to make 70 points poorly that to make one point very well.
3. Include a Number in the Title
One of the main reasons you use a numbered list is so that you can have a number in the title.
4. Make the List Long
If you don’t have a lot to talk about the best way to make up for it is by ensuring that your list is very long. You might not have substance, but at least you’ll have, like, 70 tips. In this post, for example, we’re hoping readers will look past lack of substance and see that there are 70 TIPS. OMG 70?!
5. Write a Really Good Productivity Article
It’s perfectly ok to just tell people to do what you’re article is supposed to teach. I read a “exercise motivation hacks” list yesterday and one of the hacks was “go out and exercise.” This kind of thing is done all the time.
6. Make Sure you “Hack-ify” Your Tips
Thoughts, ideas, tips, and philosophies, aren’t sexy. Hacks are sexy because they’re very DIY and punk and remind us of real hackers who hack computers. The doubters should remember that ANYTHING can be a hack. So use the global find and replace function in your browser to replace each instance of the word “tip” with the work “hack.”
7. Don’t Use Transitions
Transitions between different topics in your article provide perspective, put the material in context, and make the tips easier to remember. But you shouldn’t write transitions. They’re really hard to write, and they’re the reason why we use lists.
8. Use as Many Buzzwords as Possible in the Title
Good buzzwords words include “tips,” “tweaks,” “hacks,” “zen,” “tao,” “guide,” “simple,” etc. If you can use two of these words together then you’re golden. For example: “simple guide,” or “tao hacks,” or “hack guide.” You get the idea.
9. Write About a Buzz Topic . . .
like how to wake up early, and how you’ve implemented GTD.
10. Ignore the Principals of Psychology
The average adult’s working memory holds between 4 and 9 items. But don’t let this restrict the length of your list. People won’t remember most of your tips, but at least they’ll be impressed with its size.
11. Don’t Cite Any Research
You should really limit yourself to things other people would think of if they just had enough time. No need to actually explore research on the topic. Just because people have spent entire careers researching your topic doesn’t mean you should actually explore that research.
12. It’s OK to Write about the Same Topic Over and Over Again
It doesn’t matter if you’ve written about a topic before, or if 1,000 other people have written about a topic before. You can write about it again.
13. Its
14. OK
15. To
16. Add
17. Fluff
18. To
19. Your
20. List
21. Just
22. To
23. Take
24. Up
25. Space
26. Tell People to Write Down Their Goals
You can always tell people to write down their goals. This one belongs in any list of productivity hacks and is good fluff.
27. State the obvious.
La la la no one’s reading this. People often rush through the non-bolded text in lists. In fact, if you’re a famous blogger, then other bloggers are probably skimming your list as quickly as possible so that they can be the first commenter.
28. Write More Things on Your list . . .
just to take up space. Remember, you don’t have to actually have substance as long as you can put a lot of things on your list. Because hey, it must be good if there are 70 things.
End with a quote. It keeps you from having to write a conclusion and sum things up.
-Xu Sun Liu Yuanzhi Zhongmou Shu
P.S. I’ve done most of the things on this list. Check this blog and my guest posts for further illustration.
For more simple power tao secret hacks for writing the perfect productivity article, subscribe to The Growing Life.
Photography by AbleJTD.
ReddyK - The Atma Jyoti Blog said,
Wrote on April 30, 2008 @ 5:40 pm
Clay,
How right you are about lists and numbers in the title. By far the most popular article on our blog is 19 Exceptional Web Resources for Spiritually Minded People. It is a good article with lots of resources, but, in my opinion, is not the best on our blog. It got tons of StumbleUpon traffic a two months ago, and SU still sends traffic to the article.
Thanks for another entertaining article.
Jason Lankow said,
Wrote on April 30, 2008 @ 5:47 pm
The best part about no one reading all the way down is that you don’t even have to write all 70 and people will still love you for being extremely prolific and an expert on showing people how you can drift around, floating in a zen-trance with lifehacking superultraproductivity while being driven like a madman with power systems galore, and still, again, being completely at peace with the universe. Until you realize someone stole your stapler.
guinness416 said,
Wrote on April 30, 2008 @ 5:48 pm
Nicely done Clay.
JEMi | Tips for Life, Love, You said,
Wrote on April 30, 2008 @ 5:50 pm
*bursts in laughter*
Clay, dogonnit, you’re a funny one you :)
Rob in Denver said,
Wrote on April 30, 2008 @ 6:29 pm
Brutal, Clay. Just effing brutal.
P.S. I love it.
Kelly@SHE-POWER said,
Wrote on April 30, 2008 @ 6:33 pm
Clay
You crack me up! But you forgot something:
Get up early. No one is productive unless they get up befoe dawn. In fact, be really productive and rise in the middle of the night.
oh, and…
Become a vegetarian. I have no idea why it makes you more productive, but apparently it is is VITALLY IMPORTANT!
All my LIST posts are the ones that do the best, but fuck it I’m a rebel. I am going to use paragraphs and sentences because I can write and I only want readers who have at least a 1 minute attention span!
Therefore, I shall resign myself to never becoming a hugely successful blogger. Whatever that is…
Great work AGAIN. I think you make me sick with how many great article ideas you have.
I’m going home, I don’t want to play with you anymore.
* sulk *
Kelly
PS. Click on my link and you’ll see BLUEHOST is experiencing server issues and SHE-POWER is currently the site for the Queensgate Baptist Church. They tell me it’ll be fixed today, but who knows. I might have to become a minister and learn Korean/Chinese (?)
Vered - MomGrind said,
Wrote on April 30, 2008 @ 6:41 pm
You are a funny man. :)
You forgot using bold font in strategic places, which makes it easy for readers to quickly scan your long article, and pretend to make intelligent comments even though they haven’t really read it.
Vered - MomGrind said,
Wrote on April 30, 2008 @ 7:01 pm
@ Kelly: I saw that! And I was so alarmed, that I sent you a very worried email, which bounced back of course.
Good to know that all is well and that it’s just a technical glitch.
Tom Stine said,
Wrote on April 30, 2008 @ 7:02 pm
Uh, Clay, you left out an essential one, IMHO. You MUST have an item explaining how all these productivity hacks translate into MORE MONEY. Because who would give a rats behind if cash were not at the other end of all this productivity.
Kelly@SHE-POWER: you got it! I’m hearing Steve Pavlina in your comment. I am a meat eating, sleep until 10 am kinda guy, unproductive as hell, and yet somehow manage to make it through life. Impossible, I know.
Thanks for a great read, Clay. I laughed hard.
Jared Goralnick said,
Wrote on April 30, 2008 @ 7:18 pm
I guess this would be the more traditional definition for Anti-Hack.
Or maybe you’re turning into the John C Dvorak of productivity.
Adam King said,
Wrote on April 30, 2008 @ 7:20 pm
Wow. Clay, you have dashed all my hopes in hacks and spiritual productivity gurus. How dare you reveal absolute (and quite obvious) truth in such a public setting! Nice job my friend.
The person who loses perspective loses everything that is truly valuable, including themselves.
Patrick Rhone said,
Wrote on April 30, 2008 @ 8:35 pm
Absolutely brilliant.
Mark Blair said,
Wrote on April 30, 2008 @ 10:38 pm
Wow! Number #42 might seriously change my life - great post! ;-)
Nez said,
Wrote on April 30, 2008 @ 11:07 pm
love it!
Although, your title should use “Powerful”, not “Power” — since powerful is FULL of power, you know what I mean?
;-)
Evelyn Lim | Attraction Mind Map said,
Wrote on April 30, 2008 @ 11:13 pm
I’ve wondered about it myself and thanks for letting me on some secrets….you’ve made them really funny…LOL!!
Evelyn
Clay Collins said,
Wrote on April 30, 2008 @ 11:18 pm
Thanks so much for posting comments, guys. I kind of worried this would alienate good people, but I’m glad that you have a sense of humor.
Also, thanks for accepting these humor articles. They’re happening more frequently, as you can tell, and I’m glad that you stick around despite them.
Kaila said,
Wrote on April 30, 2008 @ 11:18 pm
Wow! This is great! And this is totally why I stopped subscribing to a couple certain productivity blogs….omfg, another list?! I just subscribed to your blog yesterday (and haven’t read too many back-posts yet), and I was really worried that your blog wasn’t going to last more than 24 hours in my RSS feeds when I saw your post title. But like other people said, this is great!
Daniel Richard | Winning Everyone said,
Wrote on April 30, 2008 @ 11:27 pm
LOL! Dang. Clay that could be your new mandarin name. Mr Xu Sun Liu Yuanzhi Zhongmou Shu!
Tao relates to the chinese stuffs. Thus it’s definitely more appropiate to quote anything that relates to zen and all that ey. :)
Mark Krusen said,
Wrote on May 1, 2008 @ 12:17 am
1.I
2.like
3.the
4.us
5.of
6.humor
Keep it up Clay.You keep me coming back.:)
Duff said,
Wrote on May 1, 2008 @ 12:43 am
Great list. Of course, I didn’t read it, just skimmed points 1-5 and the last one.
Really I just wanted to be the first commenter. Dammit–how’d all those people beat me? Someone should write a post on how to be the first commenter on other people’s posts.
Hunter Nuttall said,
Wrote on May 1, 2008 @ 1:03 am
I started cracking up when I got to the part about the pic of someone jumping. The first pic I added to the Automatic Blog Post Rehasher was one of someone jumping because…well, it IS the best kind of pic for a productivity article. And these people are NEVER playing basketball or doing something else where you’d expect them to jump. How many times have you guys just randomly jumped so far this year?
David | beplayful said,
Wrote on May 1, 2008 @ 3:34 am
Clay,
This is hilarious. Sadly enough, it does seem the be the best way to get readers.
Thought out articles just don’t seem to grab people’s interest in the same way. As soon as you put numbers on something, you get more readers and comments.
Thanks for making me smile. Added to my bookmarks, and a stumble.
David
Ronit Baras said,
Wrote on May 1, 2008 @ 3:54 am
This is the best way to write about the best way to write a good article.
I do not think there is a best way.
loved it.
Ronit
http://www.ronitbaras.com
@Stephen Productivity in Context said,
Wrote on May 1, 2008 @ 3:57 am
Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.
Neil Matthews said,
Wrote on May 1, 2008 @ 6:27 am
Tell People to Write Down Their Goals - That’s sooooo last week, those of us really into zen hack life design are creating complex “capture” systems :-)
Excellent post.
Kenneth King said,
Wrote on May 1, 2008 @ 7:34 am
To quote that famous 80’s song from Dire Straits (well, sort of):
“That ain’t workin’ that’s the way you do it, make the money with”…fake creativity.
Tim Brownson said,
Wrote on May 1, 2008 @ 7:43 am
What a cop out that PS was!
That was a “Jeez I hope none of the people that do this take it personally, even though I’m right they may banish me to blogging oblivion and not allow me into their cliques.”
Up until that pay it safe caveat it was pure cutting edge brilliance, now get on the editing button and sharpen it up again!
The Financial Philosopher said,
Wrote on May 1, 2008 @ 7:51 am
Your list is filled with irony and misguided wisdom. To illustrate, I’ll make a list:
1. Our human “rat brain” likes shortcuts. We prefer to have someone else tell us what to do than tell ourselves what to do.
2. Lists are pure marketing ploys to attract the rat brain and “steal our attention.”
3. Bloggers don’t use lists to provide useful information. They use lists to attract more readers, hopefully through the leverage of social networks.
4. Most lists are created under the guise of productivity but actually have quite the opposite effect: They are completely anti-productive because they have a “dumbing down” effect and distract people from finding their own path.
5. Read
6. My
7. List
8. Of
9. Top Ten Reasons
10. to Avoid Lists: http://financialphilosopher.typepad.com/thefinancialphilosopher/2007/11/10-reasons-to-a.html
Clay, I believe you are a good enough writer to attract more readers without the use of lists. I hope you soon return to your usual higher level of intelligence.
The Financial Philosopher said,
Wrote on May 1, 2008 @ 8:02 am
Clay,
Disclaimer: I must admit that, in disgust, I completely skimmed to the bottom of the post without catching the humor element. I will say, however, that if you truly believe lists are not useful, then this will be your last list!
Thanks for the “list!”
Dan said,
Wrote on May 1, 2008 @ 10:07 am
Scathing and hilarious. Good work.
Mark Dyck said,
Wrote on May 1, 2008 @ 10:36 am
Too funny. I really like the obscure quotes (but they can’t be from Jesus!)
Can you write about 75 ways to write good comment spam next?
Sean M. Cox said,
Wrote on May 1, 2008 @ 10:47 am
Reminds me of my High School English class essay-writing… umm… hacks. (I never called them hacks, but what the heck.)
Jonathan from JonathanMead.com said,
Wrote on May 1, 2008 @ 11:49 am
I think this is actually the reason Steve Pavlina is so popular. He actually writes in-depth on real topics. He also doesn’t write about the same thing 7,000 times.
Great post Clay, I’m sure I can learn from these. =D
The Top 5 Posts That Subtly Mock This Blog And A Zen System For The Artful Ridicule Of The Life Sutra | The 4-Hour Workweek Journal said,
Wrote on May 1, 2008 @ 1:26 pm
[…] 70 Simple Power Tao Secret Hacks to Writing the Perfect Productivity Article, Plus a Guide & Sys… […]
My Baby Has Gold Teeth said,
Wrote on May 1, 2008 @ 1:42 pm
Also, after that, everyone should add a comment linking back to their blog so all other blog writers can go to those other blogs with lists and write their comments on that other blog with their blog links … and so on .. and so on.
This will continue until all productivity blogs are basically nothing followed by links to other “articles” that are nothing with more links following.
Oh yeah Clay … don’t forget that they can write down their goals or make video tapes of their goals. Cause’ everyone sure does love watching video tapes of themselves that they themselves made.
Alex said,
Wrote on May 1, 2008 @ 2:36 pm
Fluff and making things up. That’s the way to go, I agree.
Chelle said,
Wrote on May 1, 2008 @ 4:04 pm
This was hillarious…but where are tips 29-70?? If you included those no doubt you could sell this as an e-book for the low low price of just $297 :) I love the quotes at the beginning and end :)
Jay said,
Wrote on May 1, 2008 @ 4:12 pm
I have never felt this inspired after so much cynicism. Nicely done!
Louise Pool said,
Wrote on May 1, 2008 @ 4:30 pm
Clay, not “despite the humor”. That’s what makes all your recent articles so great. Many of us are actually quite tired of the humourless posts telling us what to do.
There must be a wise quote on the wisdom of humour…
Jim said,
Wrote on May 1, 2008 @ 4:45 pm
Fantastic.
Wendi Kelly said,
Wrote on May 2, 2008 @ 5:26 am
So you understand if I just say:
*good post*
Klaus said,
Wrote on May 2, 2008 @ 6:38 am
LOL, excellent article :-)
However, you could headline your article easily as “Top 70 hints how to make high-score on social bookmarking sites”… There is a reason why you find so many “hacks”, “35 tips” etc.: They just get you readers (probably you recognize on your article as well)
Marelisa said,
Wrote on May 2, 2008 @ 9:37 am
Loved this post! I just finished a squidoo lens on “100 things to do before you die - Create your bucket list”. You can make lists of the 100 things you’re grateful for, a list of the 100 books you want to read, a list of 100 movies you want to watch, a list of 100 simple pleasures, the list is endless (and notice how powerful the number “100″ is) :-)
shann said,
Wrote on May 2, 2008 @ 10:33 am
Wickedly funny …
Simple Mom said,
Wrote on May 2, 2008 @ 3:00 pm
LOVE this. Thanks for having the guts to do it.
Daniel Richard | Winning Everyone said,
Wrote on May 3, 2008 @ 12:15 pm
I applied a few of the pointers taken from this post in my entry about sleep in Winning Everyone. :)
Lets see. There’s the random jumping for joy photo, there’s quotes (tons of them towards the end), points, hack-tify tips, GTD (the term was mentioned once!) and children, and did I mention people jumping images (there’s 2 people jumping in the photo that I used! hehe).
http://winningeveryone.com/happiness/happiness-friday-to-enjoy-every-minute-and-second-of-sleep/
It’ll be awesome to see more parody entries from you Clay! Cheers! :D
moro said,
Wrote on May 4, 2008 @ 3:55 am
@Marelisa:
How about a list of 100 lists you have to make…?
liveforever said,
Wrote on May 4, 2008 @ 6:17 am
Thanks for finding the great photo of a person jumping. I could use that in my next post.
Laurie | Your Ill-fitting Overcoat said,
Wrote on May 4, 2008 @ 4:11 pm
Hilarious! I was going to suggest creating an “Automatic Productivity Article Generator” but based on the one of the above comments, it sounds like someone might have beaten you to the punch!
L
Sonia Simone said,
Wrote on May 5, 2008 @ 11:20 am
You laugh, but I am so using these.
Dan said,
Wrote on May 7, 2008 @ 7:13 pm
The “get excited” thing you point out is clearly a reference to zenhabits’ Get Off Your Butt post, and just to defend Leo, he points out that the item’s inclusion seems silly but then includes specific tips on how to actually get excited.
MonkMojo said,
Wrote on May 9, 2008 @ 11:07 am
I blew by this post in my igoogle rss page thinking poor Clay must have the flu and needs some filler. I should know better by now (but hey, I’ve had the flu). Clay please accept my belated thumbs up for your smack down of the formula.
Ramjetwiebe said,
Wrote on May 9, 2008 @ 5:24 pm
You might also want to mention:
xx. Don’t be afraid of blatent Plagiarism
A true list maker er… I mean spontaneous (as in human combustion) paradigm metaphorical numbered guide system (self proclaimed) guru generator STEALS from others. Hint: (in sequence) google(v.) “self help”, [copy], [paste], [select all], [bullets and numbering], [number], [post as original work!]
Thanks!
Torley said,
Wrote on May 10, 2008 @ 2:45 pm
I think only a witless gnome would not see the fun here, and the best part is it’s a classy parody which is NOT malicious and hurtful! I really like Zen Habits and Leo Babauta’s work, but it’s ALSO true that while he didn’t invent this form, he certainly popularized it. In the process, certain archetypes and cliches of productivity/lifehack posts have congealed and become constricted, and there are many copycats out there which regurgitate the same info into differently-ordered lists.
I like your attitude here, Clay, and I hope this gets lots of circulation around the blogosphere or whatever they’re calling it nowadays. This is a great type of self-awareness within the “scene” or “community” of lifehacking.
Torley said,
Wrote on May 10, 2008 @ 2:46 pm
P.S. I have nothing against gnomes, only those who are witless. Just needed to make that clear. folks. :D
rich said,
Wrote on May 10, 2008 @ 10:50 pm
Dear sir or madam,
Your article has inspired me to be more productive — in thinking about writing more, about getting things done. Without your article, I would’ve been a lost soul in this grueling 4-hour-workweek, making list after list of things that I should have made a list about. Thanks you so much for:
1. being so inspirational
2. being so gracious as to help poor-old-me to reach my full
potential as a semi-talented php programmer.
3. providing a clear roadmap to my success in being a douchebag.
Thank you.
“When you have a fat friend there are no see-saws. Only catapults.” -Demetri Martin
Rahsheen said,
Wrote on May 12, 2008 @ 12:08 am
What a breath of fresh air. Excellent and hilarious article. I have been researching GTD and trying to get organized and this just hits the nail right on the head. Good Work.